Sweat
by Vietta
Summary: Reno gets stuck training new turks and decides to have fun with the side-effects.


Reno wiped his forehead on his arm, grinning madly. He had been running for hours now and he couldn't help but laugh breathily as he looked at the trainees he had been putting through their paces. Not one had been able to last the hours of running they had been assigned. Most were flopped on the track, gasping for air and clutching their sides as other members of the training group tried to resume a standing position. Reno remembered his own endurance training and it was a pleasant memory. These Turk trainees wouldn't remember what he put them through today fondly; of course when he went through this training he outstripped everyone in the running portion of it. Of course, Reno was born to run. His mother always told him he was running when he left the womb. Once he was old enough to put his feet on the floor he was running.

Reno stood straight and set his hands on his hips, looking at the over-exerted trainees with a malicious grin. "Get up, slackers! We aren't done yet!"

"P-Please sir!" A green-faced trainee looked at Reno pleadingly, "W-we're exhausted! We've been at it all d-day!"

"It's only three o'clock!" Reno rolled his eyes, looking at the trainee and taking a step back as the green tinge to his face became more prominent. "If you're gonna puke, puke that way. If you get it on my shoes I'll kick your ass."

The trainee obliged, turning in the direction Reno pointed. "Y-yes, sir."

Reno grinned, he loved being called sir. Only trainees ever called him sir, everyone else knew him well enough to not respect him that way. "So, shower off and do your homework. If you're gonna be babies about leg cramps you can work on getting wrist cramps again. Study your asses off or Tseng's gonna assign you to me again tomorrow for more running."

The effect was instantaneous; even the barely conscious trainees found the strength to pull themselves to the shower room. The threat of training with Reno again was not taken lightly. Reno had had them running since five in the morning, giving them thirty minute water breaks every two hours. After their water breaks he gave them a half hour to shower and then he made them run again. He, however, hadn't showered since he woke up that morning and he reeked of stale sweat and new sweat. He lifted his armpit and cringed as a wave of unadulterated stink flowed out of his forest of unshaven, curly, red armpit hairs. He was ripe as a red apple and his stink could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon at fifty paces. He was prepared for all the devious plans he had for the day.

Reno slapped his shirt over his bare, sweat-slicked shoulder and walked downstairs, humming happily, content with his stench. He pondered over his first victim, easily choosing and running in the direction he needed to go. He was going to drop his victim with his stench, so why shouldn't he work up more of a sweat? "LANEY!" He slammed through Elena's door, lifting his arms in triumph and watching her squirm in discomfort as his stench waved forth.

"G-good gods, Reno! What the hell!" Elena gagged, eyes watering, as Reno graced her vision; she had smelt him before she had seen him. She ran from her office, seeking salvation in the women's restroom, where Reno wouldn't dare go.

"One down four to go! Whoever looses their lunch first is buying me lunch!" Reno grinned and ran to his next victim's office, arms raised high.

Rude coughed and looked up as Reno walked in, shirtless and dripping with sweat. "Get out of my office you smelly red ape."

"No way! I want lunch!" Reno kept his arms raised high, grinning at Rude madly.

"Leave my office or you'll never be able to eat again." Rude hated it when Reno was in charge of training the trainees. He showered the trainees on a regular basis so he wouldn't have to smell them, but he refused to bathe himself. He seemed to think his sweat smelled like roses, or perhaps after years of smelling his own smells he had stopped noticing their pungent smelliness.

Reno knew Rude would make good on his promise. The last time he had threatened that Reno wouldn't be able to eat for a week, he had punched Reno in the neck so hard his esophagus collapsed and Reno had had to eat through a straw until doctors could fix him. Rude had hit him lightly that time.

Reno ran to Tseng's office next, arms raised high above his head. "TSENG!"

Tseng looked up as Reno walked into his office, raising an eyebrow. "What, Reno?"

"Loose your lunch?" Reno raised an eyebrow; everyone else had given him a satisfactory olfactory response. Tseng didn't even flare his nostrils in horror.

"Why? I've got no reason too. I'm actually quite impressed by the pit forests you've grown. I thought you couldn't grow arm-pit hair." Tseng looked at Reno's bare chest and chin accusingly.

Reno put his arms down, head cocked to the side like a confused puppy. "You seriously can't smell me?"

"I didn't smell you last time or the time before that, so what makes you think I'll smell you this time?" Tseng raised an eyebrow.

Reno scratched his head. "I honestly thought you were lying the last few times."

"No, I can't smell. It's both a blessing and a curse." Right now, as Tseng watched sweat bead down Reno's forehead, he considered it a blessing.

Reno looked at the incense sticks on Tseng's desk. "So those are just for show?"

Tseng shook his head. "No, I light those so my office smells nice to everyone else. I'm guessing from how badly you claim to reek I'll need to light them once you leave?"

"Sure…would probably be a good idea…wanna go grab some lunch? I've been up since three this morning and I haven't eaten yet." Reno pulled on his shirt, watching it absorb the copious amount of sweat he had dripping down his frame.

"Sure, you'll clear enough space at a restaurant for us to talk about you taking the trainees again tomorrow without being overheard." Tseng stood, grabbing his jacket.

Reno raised an eyebrow. "Why do you want me to take them again tomorrow?"

Tseng shrugged and led Reno out of his office. "You did a good job with them today and they need some endurance training if you didn't notice. I saw how many broke a sweat after the first lap."

Reno followed Tseng, smiling proudly. "So you want me to kick their asses again tomorrow?"

"We'll discuss it over lunch." Tseng smiled and got into the elevator, holding the door open for Reno and grinning as the rest of the elevator's occupants fled at the stench Reno spread.

"You're treat?" Reno beamed, looking at Tseng pleadingly.

"Sure, why not. You're going to make it a private restaurant for us so I think I can pay for the food." Tseng smiled and pushed the button for the floor they needed.

Reno grinned happily; he was definitely going to enjoy the time he got to spend training Turks. He got to run all day, boss people around, be called sir, and now Tseng was paying for his lunch. It was a pretty sweet gig in his opinion. "If you let me train them again tomorrow I'll clear any restaurant you want."

"I think I'll take you up on that, but maybe you should shower next time. I can practically see the fumes coming off you." Tseng chuckled, watching the elevator doors close.

"Sure thing, bossman. I'll clear it with some other nasty bodily function. I'll eat a shitload of beans or something." Reno grinned happily.

Tseng laughed. "And I'll pull your finger for you."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: I just think Reno would enjoy running all day long. I think he'd be happy as a clown to have the chance to run for hours and hours and hours and hours. I also like writing a happy Tseng because he's nice.<strong>

**Yeah, I'm not sure this story is any good…It's really pretty boring…**


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